Tag Archives: Volcano boarding

Black in black

We arrived back into León and went straight back to ViaVia. The recent good weather had made it possible for us to reconsider volcano boarding. So we got settled in & went across the road to book ourselves in for the next day. I was excited but secretly terrified.

The next morning, while I waited for Skye – a muscular dude with silky skin; clean, neat dreads and an amiable demeanour came over to introduce himself in Spanish. I told him what I tell everyone else, “Mi Español is terrible!” We switched to English & got chatting. I learnt he was part-Nicaraguan and had spent the better part of his life in NYC. He was an articulate documentary-maker with some interesting things to say. One of his films was about the Black Christ and the other was on the subject of young Nicaraguan baseball players who get screwed over financially for their talent.

Anthony told me he would be our guide for the day. We met the others in our group as we climbed up into a bright orange army truck. There was a weekend warrior from Melbourne, who was travelling around Central America at breakneck speed (basically collecting passport stamps). I think he said he’d done 6 countries in 2 weeks. And 2 friendly and fit-looking snowboarding Canadian girls. The three of them were all in their mid 20s.

Cerro Negro is only 400m high but the ascent is steep and tough, especially on a stinking hot day. It is one of the most active volcanoes in Nicaragua. The latest eruption happened in 1999. Since its birth in 1850, it has erupted approximately 23 times. It’s approximately a 45 minute hike up black chunky volcanic rocks which degenerate into a fine black sand, making it trickier to climb the higher you go.

Skye and I had to make several stops on the way up. She has a heart condition which means she needs to take it easy and ensure her heart rate doesn’t escalate too high, too fast. Me? Well, since my last bootcamp session with Tobes just before my 40th birthday nearly a year ago – I must confess I’ve done very little strenuous exercise, so I’m a little out of shape.

Anthony was carrying Skye’s board and offered on many occasions to carry mine as well. But I had challenged myself to the whole shebang. And as tempting as it was, I was bloody determined to do it unassisted. We made it up. Quite a ways behind the others. But we did it!

Nicaragua really has stolen my heart in a very short space of time. Not least for the diversity in its geography. It’s just gorgeous. From the jewel-like Caribbean, sweeping tropical plains rise up to meet a chain of 13 volcanoes on the Pacific coast – making for a truly majestic landscape. And here I was, standing on top of one of those volcanoes.

About to do something that can only be described as Stupid.

We hopped into our big bright orange jumpsuits and put on out goggles. Anthony gave us a little bit of a background of how this stupidity all began.

Needless to say, it was an Aussie who came up with the bright idea. A Queenslander by the name of Darryn Webb who apparently tested a variety of methods of boarding the mountain: boogie boards, mattresses and even a fridge door.

Anthony briefed us on how to control the speed and the direction of the board. Which was really just a piece of MDF with a couple of strips of Formica on the underside, a little strip of timber acrossways to rest our feet upon, and a waterski rope handle.

Bigfoot uses a police speed gun to clock people’s speeds as they’re coming down the slippery sandy slope. The record is 82km / hour and is held by an English girl. The slowest person took 15 minutes to get down the hill. I personally wasn’t about speed. I just wanted to get down in one piece.

Given my inclination to fall over non-existent cracks in the footpath – I really am not the sort of person who should be hurtling herself off the side of a volcano on a tiny plank of wood. Don’t ask me why I keep putting myself in these situations. It’s probably got something to do with that other character who insists on getting riotously drunk before having to travel somewhere for 12 hours.

One of the gutsy little Canadian girls went down first and she was gunning it! From our vantage point it looked as though she had made it all the way down without a stack. The other Canadian girl went next and we saw her crash & burn several times.

I got on my board, sat down, and off I went! I could hear Anthony yelling at me, his voice fading fast, “LIFT YOUR FEET!” I think I literally went down braking the whole way. Every time I tried to lift my feet, in an attempt to pick up speed, I felt myself lose control of the board. I’d get scared and drop them back down again. I was collecting massive amounts of ash (not hot, thank fuck) between the board and under my legs and this was slowing me down even more. The rate I was going, there was no way on earth I was going to be falling off. That being said, volcanic sand was still flying everywhere and it was still a complete head rush.

I knew I was erring on the side of caution but I was still surprised when I got to the bottom and they told me i had clocked a god-almighty speed of 15km / hour. Just call me Speedy freakin Gonzales. I just laughed. It seriously felt like I was going at least 3 times that. There was a part of me that wanted to go back and do it all over again, this time really throwing caution to the wind.

Skye came down next. A wee bit faster and with a few tumbles thrown in for good measure.

Then it was the Weekend Warrior’s turn. He looked to be a moving at a pretty decent speed, when he had a nice looking stack about ½ way down. His board was a good few metres up the hill from where he had landed and so he started scrambling his way back up to retrieve it.

Meanwhile, Anthony had already started his mission and was tearing down the mountain at a rate of knots. He was heading straight for WW and we all stood at the bottom, thinking surely he had seen the WW and would divert his course any second now. Surely.

He didn’t. And he launched straight into the WW at full throttle. His board flew into the air. He somehow managed to somersaulted over the top of him, and collect him all at once. I saw a board fly into the air.

At the bottom there was a collective gasp, yelp, and cringe. The pair of them stood up almost immediately, so we figured it couldn’t have been too bad. They made it down without further incident. There was some blood but nothing was broken.

We got back to the hostel and celebrated our speeds and stacks with many many mojitos. So many in fact, that I was in bed by 7 o’clock that night. Note to self: Water not cocktails after strenuous exercise.

I woke up the next day feeling very bruised in more ways than one and so not up for a day of travel to the colonial town of Granada, where we would spend the next few days.

I came down a little ill for a couple of days, which may have tainted my views on the place. But to be honest, Granada has been one of my least favourite places. It’s a big dirty city, there’s a lot beggars and insofar as colonial cities go it hasn’t got a patch on my pretty Antigua, as far as I’m concerned.

The highlights for me included catching up with Dave & Suze. Skye & I had a few delicious healthy meals at a place called The Garden Cafe. I visited the museum and a few boutique galleries and talked with some local artists, which was cool. But that was about the size of it.

I was dead keen to get to Isla de Ometepe, which LP described as something out of a fairytale… an island set between “two volcanic peaks which rise from the hazy blue expanse of Cocibolca, ‘the Sweet Sea’ (Lago de Nicaragua), and form an hourglass of beaches and jungles cinched to a sinuous isthmus between them.”

Just what the doctor ordered.

Friday 28 October


Why does it always rain on me?

When I was a kid I remember visiting Melaka (my mother’s home town) during the rainy season. In the late afternoon, the air would get thick, and a big fat drop of rain would go splat, right in front of me. Then there’d be another. And then another – this time smacking me on the face. I’d look up and the sky would be big and black and really mad. And all of a sudden everyone would quicken up, like someone had pressed the fast forward button. Mum would be yanking on my arm, hard, yelling at me to hurry up. The sky would split into two and all these sharp bits of rain would sting my skin. We were soaking by the time we got home. I loved all the excitement.

The rainy season in Central America goes from July through to September, give or take a month, depending on the region. Here in Nicaragua, October is the wettest month, probably due to the fact that it’s also hurricane season.

None of the countries I’ve visited are well equipped to receive the rain. The streets start flooding within minutes. Garbage gushes up from overflowing gutters. People start madly sweeping down the uneven footpaths.  Traffic gets even more lawless.  And anarchy reigns supreme.

And so there’s been a shedload of water of late. It chucked it down. For the whole 4 days we were in León.


So on Saturday, our first night – I found a vegetarian restaurant that supposedly did some good curries. Skye’s a pescetarian. And after 4 months of meat, rice & beans and plantains – I am really missing Asian flavours. We had an okay curry and a very salty chow mien. I would have been very unhappy with it back home. But you take what you can get, here.

After two days of being in transit, we were absolutely knackered – so we turned in early. We just took it easy over the next couple of days. Skye was still recuperating. I was just being lazy.

After 2 nights, we moved from the funeral parlour of a hostel we were staying at, to the far more atmospheric ViaVia a couple of blocks away. The front end of the hostel was a restaurant / bar which was frequented by locals as much as tourists. Behind the bar, was a lush tropical garden spotted with people dozing in hammocks and reading in rocking chairs. It was just lovely.

On Tuesday, we started the day at a French bakery around the corner. My croissant was perfectly crispy on the outside, and all fluffy & buttery on the inside … a truly simple pleasure that made me a very happy girl.

After running a few errands, we then set off to see the largest cathedral in all of Central America. It took more than 100 years to construct. The outside, blackened by years of grimey rain and city pollutants is a bit of eyesore, truth be told. But when you walk in – you are greeted by cool marbled floors, high vaulted ceilings, serenely sad statues, and imposing classical art in ornate golden frames…

We paid to access the cathedral’s roof via a skinny, dark & damp stairwell, to an old concrete expanse of gigantic active bell towers, larger than life statues (visible from the street below), perfectly formed concrete domes (the outties to the innies of the high vaulted ceilings below), and multiple levels with turreted walls.

The rain miraculously stopped for the time we were up there and so we were very fortunate to get amazing views of a fairly sprawling city, considering its relatively small population of 145k people. Beyond the city limits, we could see the Cordillera de los Maribios – a series of volcanoes to the noreast.

One of the reasons I had wanted to come here was to ‘surf’ one of those volcanoes. The first time I had heard you could do this, was when I stumbled upon a blogpost, while doing some preliminary reading about Nicaragua. Basically you haul your arse up an active volcano, they stick you in a space suit and off you go hurtling down course sandy black ash on a modified snowboard. People have been clocked doing close to 80km / hour. I thought that it sounded way fun. And terrifying.

Nursing a sizeable gash on my left knee that was still bleeding and seeping after a good 3 days (I had come-a-gutsa at the Brewery. While sober.) – I admit to feeling pretty nervous about the whole boarding thing. So i was very relieved to hear a few different people saying how it was a bit rubbish at the moment due to the heavy rains. That was enough for me to decide I wouldn’t do it here & now. Maybe another opportunity would present itself elsewhere. There’s plenty of volcanoes in these parts.

Later that afternoon, I took Skye to the Museo de Arte Fundación Ortiz-Guardián – a gallery that LP deems ‘Nicaragua’s finest by a huge margin’. It is home to a lot of interesting contemporary works by Latin American artists. I loved it. I particularly dug the pieces by Nahum Flores. We spent a good couple of hours there and then went back to our hostel.

Sparkles had messaged me saying he was going to be in town that night. We met at ViaVia & caught up over drinks. His life had taken some interesting turns, to say the least. Among the stories he had to share with us, was how he’d fallen into diplomatic circles and was staying as a guest at an ambassador’s place, complete with staff, in Managua. He had come in a hire car. I teased him mercilessly about being a flashpacker and he took it on the chin with his usual good sense of humour.

The three of us fell into a restaurant called Manhattan which ended up being one of the best meals we’ve had in all of Central America. Proper Japanese! I was absolutely beside myself. The three of us scoffed down mountains of fresh sushi rolls of every description, some perfectly battered tempura vegetables, and a few yakitori sticks to boot.

The next day Sparkles went & did a couple of the sites. Skye and I waited for him in a cafe while it rained and rained and rained. We had convinced him to join us at the beach for a night and so off we all went in his lovely hire car. The car was a very basic Toyota Yaris and had done 65,000 clicks – but it felt like a goddamn limousine to Skye and I.

None of us really bothered to firm up a best plan of attack for get out of town & to the beach … and so naturally, we ended up heading in a mostly wrong direction. But we quickly worked out it was rectifiable in that we could take a right and we would be heading in the general direction of the coast. And so, at my behest, we took that right. My thinking being, we could get to the coast then follow the coastline to get to Las Peñitas. Works in Australia.

Anyways, it turns out the road we took wasn’t a proper road. And it wasn’t a short road. And it wasn’t a dry road.

It wasn’t too long before we came upon our first muddy puddle.

I did my best not to back seat drive as Sparkles plunged the car into muddy pool after muddy pool that got larger and deeper and at times, looked like they were going to engulf the tiny Yaris.

Mike had morphed from a self-styled James Bond, mixing with Nicaragua’s bourgeoisie, into the intrepid leader of Sparkle’s Safaris.

At one point, Skye & he got out of the car to test the depth of a particularly big muddy pool with rocks and sticks (all very scientific). I watched from the safety of the car.

We were discussing the feasibility of navigating through the muddy pool when a man driving a horse-drawn buggy stopped to encourage us to follow him on through the big muddy pool.

I just kept having flashbacks of having to push a van out of freezing cold, knee-deep, schleppy mud at Glastonbury and not really loving that experience very much at all.

The ‘road’ worsened.

We passed by a big salt factory called Salines Grandes. This is a miniscule dot in the guidebooks and is virtually non-existent on the tourist maps. For. A. Reason.

No one goes to Salines Grande.

Except for the workers who live in a shanty town of homes constructed from sticks and industrial black plastic, and very little else. I’d never seen anything quite like it.

This was so far off the beaten path, all we saw were skinny cows. A couple of fat boars. Some chickens. Lots of skanky dogs. A couple of jeep collectivos. A few dirt bikes. Lots of walkers. And no other cars.

Why? Because the road we took wasn’t a proper goddamn road.

We persisted and eventually hit a junction that I believed would take us to the beach. However, we would never find out. The rest of the road looked like a river.

Pissing ourselves laughing, we decided to turn back. All in all, this little ‘detour’ took us 2 hours. The beach is 19km from where we started.

We headed back to León, and started again.

Skye found the right road to take us there, and within 12 minutes – we were checked in to the very simple Quetzal Trekkers hostel with front row views to the Pacific Ocean. With its beautiful black volcanic sand, and wild wild seas. It was so nice to hear the sounds of waves crashing. It’s been such a long time since i’ve walked in white wash.

We spent the next couple of days doing little else but sleeping, reading and well … that was pretty much it. We said goodbye to Sparkles on Thursday and by Friday, we were on our way to the Cosigüina Peninsula. The possibility of hiring a dugout canoe had piqued our interest, and we heard about a place to stay called Rancho Tranquilo.

Not the name I would have picked for it.