Tag Archives: Déjà vu

The long and winding road

I am exactly where I am meant to be.

I believe that we all have a bunch of lessons we’re supposed to learn in this life, based on what we’ve learnt in previous lives.

I believe there are a number of ways that we can go about achieving these predetermined objectives.

We can linger on a lovely lane, ride a rocky road, stagger up stupid street (my preferred MO) or do the sensible thing and take the most direct route (no alliteration necessary).

We can go via limo or in a tuk tuk (sometimes people have no choice in terms of the vehicle and i am of the view that it’s completely irrelevant, anyways).

I also believe certain people will come into our lives to test our knowledge or confidence of where we are going. Some will come into our lives to distract us (and this can be a bad thing or a good thing). Other people are sent to help us along our way.

So I always try and tune into this concept of “Am i in the right ‘place’ (and i use this word in the broadest sense) to facilitate whatever it is I’m supposed to be learning?” (the big one for me at the moment, after seeing an amazing TED talk by Brene Brown is ‘vulnerability’. I’ll save that for another post).

So, what I want to know is this: Do you ever experience déjà vu?

I usually experience déjà vu when I’m having a really inane conversation with someone I’ve known for ages… You know we’re talking about the price of broccoli or something equally fascinating. Or I’m with a colleague I’ve worked with for years, and we’re mulling over a spreadsheet. So when it’s in this context, you can kind of write it off as a weird-arse / boring version of a memory (or a glitch in the matrix, if you prefer such things clad in cool black trench coats).

I have long harbored an image, that my brain is a room that contains a raft of filing cabinets. And there’s this really tiny & wiry old man who’s been keeping the files for years. And he’s lovely and all, but while he used to be good at his job, he’s getting a bit slow and doddery these days. He forgets where things are. Or it takes him a long time to retrieve a file. Sometimes he snoozes on the job. And he doesn’t maintain the room as well as he should. The lights above the cabinets are a bit sketchy.

When I have déjà vu, I feel like the light bulbs are just flickering on and off momentarily.

Now… i did a bit of reading about this, and psychologists make a distinction between déjà vu (which translates to ‘already seen’) and jamais vu (which translates to ‘never seen’).

Jamais vu describes that sensation you have, when you feel like you’ve been there before – but you know it’s simply not possible.

I’ve experienced this 2 times here in Antigua. And it kind of freaked me out. I got all goosebumpy. And shivery. And hairy. You know what i mean, right? But post the mini-freak, I found there was also something slightly reassuring about it.

It made me feel like – I am. exactly. where I’m supposed to be.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next. I don’t actually care. I trust that the Universe knows what’s she’s doing.

I trust that I am on the right road. And as far as I’m concerned a tuk tuk is way cooler than a limo.

4 August

PS: I’m particularly keen to hear your stories… What have been your weirdest experiences of jamais vu.