You can’t always get what you want

The following night, I linked up with Mr Belize. His brother and his sister-in-law, from Cayo, were visiting. They were up for a big night and I had a dive planned in a place called Shark-Ray Alley the next day, so I called it early.

The next morning, I used the coconut wire to tell Mr Belize to meet me at Hurricanes for lunch at 1. And went on to have another great splash about in the big drink. I saw my mate on my way back, and he confirmed Mr Belize would indeed, be meeting me.

I showered and went to the jetty bar for a Michelada and some ceviche. While waiting (Belizeans are even less concerned about time than Mexicans), I got talking to a lovely Polish lady who had been raised in Italy and lived the last few years in Belize. She was an English teacher. I have a feeling I will be in contact with her again.

I was headed to Caye Caulker that afternoon, a tiny island about 30mins away from San Pedro. Mr Belize offered to take me there on one of his mate’s boats. Sahweet! Russell was black as the ace of spades, sported a big gap between his two front tooth and wore his dreadlocks short and neat. He was from the dive shop I’d been out with, that same day, an outfit called DownUnder, which I thought was quite amusing. All the boys wore Australia tee shirts. I’d met them on day 1 and asked them if they were Aboriginals. They knew I was taking the piss immediately.

The boat comes around to collect me from my hotel’s jetty (which sounds a lot fancier than it really is). We go and collect the brother and sister-in-law and a ‘niece’. The boat stops about 1/2 way across, and we all jump out for a snorkel. Mr Belize catches a snapper with a spear, which I must admit, I found a bit sexy in a Mills & Boon kinda way.

We cruised into the lagoon called The Split at Caye Caulker, with a bar built over the point, and reggae was pumping out of a massive sound system. There was a mix of locals and tourists hanging out in the water, drinks in hand. A sweet smell of ganga perfumed the dusk air. We watched the sun set; i got eaten by mosquitoes; and Mr Belize decided he’d stay the night. He ended up staying two. Again I was lucky to jag the top floor of my hotel with sweeping views of the Reef. We scored a little Jamaican goodness and had a lovely couple of days, just lazing about the hotel, chatting, drinking, sleeping…

I feel compelled to let you know, that while this all sounds very romantic – I do feel a bit compromised.

You see, Mr Belize had come across to Caye Caulker, without his wallet. I had invited him to stay the night, knowing that in all likelihood, he wouldn’t be taking me out to dinner. Everybody here is just getting by. I had a great time, and got me a bit of much needed lovin-  but in retrospect, there’s a part of me that feels like a rather silly gringo girl. Okay, so he cost me a total of $50, mas o menos… It’s nothing to write home about, in the grand scheme of things. However, there’s a part if me which feels like I just participated in a transaction of the oldest kind.

They call these guys, ‘sharks’ here. A lot of them don’t have regular work, if indeed they work at all. They cruise the tourist bars, making the lonely, old or ugly feel desirable. In return, they might get dinner, drinks or at the very worse, *just sex*. And they’re good at their jobs.

At the end of the day, I don’t have any fanciful ideas of having an enduring relationship with a boy I met in Belize in a bar. But do I want to pay for a fling? I suppose that even if it’s not cash – there’s always a cost of some sort, isn’t there?

Am starting to sound like Carrie Bradshaw, so will stop now. But I am interested to know what you think. Hit me up with a comment, a judgment, a story or a bit of advice.

Mon 8 August

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11 responses to “You can’t always get what you want

  1. Michelle… normally I wouldn’t add my 2cents worth , but seeing as you asked – I think you’re being too hard on yourself. This story sounds fantastic and as long as both you & Belize boy are happy, does it really matter? You both had fun, you met new people & had new experiences… What can be wrong with that! Lou xxx

  2. Many many years ago ( before I was happily married!) my “shark” came to visit me from Canada on a trip over here to see his sister marry an aussie fella (who, coincidently, met his beau in the same chatroom sharkboy came from)… it took me almost 4 freaking months to wise up…dont beat yourself up honey!! Loving the blogs honey xxx

  3. Did you get your money worth out of him??? we’ve all spent more than that on a real date and come out with a lot less memorable moments. Enjoy it!!!

  4. Oh god Chelle if I were as honest with myself about my European adventures as you have been here, I’d still be in a corner sucking my thumb. Don’t worry, girlfriend! Life is too short. You’re enjoying everything it has to offer, warts and all (I don’t mean it like that). And hasn’t it made another fabulous blog post! I love them, keep writing 🙂

  5. Michelle Lindsay

    Chelle, Chelle, Chelle. Life, it seems, is just a collection of experiences. Some good, some bad. Some kind of uncomfortable.
    If seeing the man with no cash and the good kissing makes you feel icky, chalk it up to experience and don’t go there again. On the other hand, if it’s just an intellectual concern, no-one is getting hurt, and you’re having a good time, then don’t beat yourself up! (You are not a weird sex tourist.)
    (But I do caution against the warts, also!) 😉
    Love you lots and miss you heaps. Wish I could figure out a way to visit! But looking forward to Skype-ing – let me know when suits you – evenings are best for me…

    Lots and lots of love.

  6. My darling girl, I am married and there are many days nights weeks and months that I would happily pay for it. I had a similar experience in Milan once, and at the end of the day, I got a tour guide, dinner companion, good loving, when I was expecting to drag my sorry butt around yet another beautiful city on my own. I would also like to say that it was an experience that was far more memorable than many that cost me nothing!

  7. Beautiful!

  8. Nothing is life is free. The way I see it, sometimes the $50 is more honest. It’s just cash, not lies, not expectation, no risk of thinking things are different from how they are. Sometimes I wish people back home could be unambiguous. X

  9. Some lovely bits of lucidity from your mates here already – true all true! x

  10. Pingback: Sand, sharks & much more in Belize « Explore with Payal

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